17 Again – Make an Indelible Impression at Any Age

While it’s true that most of my clients are professional men (and some professional women, too) I was quite delighted to receive a call last week from a woman whose teenage son wants to reinvent his image. Would I work with him? After a good discussion to learn about the genesis of his desires – and his parents’ sheer willingness to support him – I determined working with him would be a mutually good fit.

Apparently this young man is inspired to take action about reinventing his image since seeing the recent hit movie, “17 Again”. It stars Zac Efron, as a 37-year old man miraculously transformed back to the age of 17 to get a second shot at life. If a movie could entertain and inspire someone to do something good for himself, I did what a good image consultant should do. I went on a bro-date with my twenty-something friend Andrew and saw the movie together.

I won’t give away the details of the movie because I think you should go see it. My friends Karl and Lindsey will read this at this point and roll their eyes; go ahead you two! It was more than just the next generation’s version of Tom Hank’s “Big”.

“17 Again” reminded me of my own high school experiences, being maligned and marginalized until a set of transformational experiences occurred. The movie had a star athlete bully character. Such a student bullied me in high school. Efron’s character, Mike O’Donnell, back in high school with his kids, rescues his son from the high school bully. I remember needing to change my defenseless mindset in order to physically defend myself against a bully three times my size and in a very public way. I was a nervous wreck and totally scared. In the movie, Mike is poised, self-assured, knows how to spin a basketball like a Harlem Globetrotter and is admittedly great looking. Oh, if only I could be 17 again…What if I could look like Zac??

Efron’s high school character, thrust back into teen life, didn’t fit into the school’s culture in his over-the-top Ed Hardy wardrobe, droopy jeans with exposed boxer shorts, and baseball cap worn sideways. It may have been very L.A., but it was just too affected and bad-boy-adult for a high school student. So he cleaned up his act by getting none other than a makeover of sorts. [Hey, Ed Hardy clothes were not around circa 1989. But that’s Hollywood.] He got a refreshed hairstyle and new clothes, and even a gorgeous car that seemed to go along with his physical style. Considering that Mike O’Donnell’s “dad” is a wealthy man, anything is possible. [Oh, Hollywood.]

The point, though, is it’s possible to make a permanent, yet dynamic, impression. In the movie, despite the apparent failing of their relationship, Mike and his high school sweetheart wife can’t escape the early impressions they once made on one another. Could they reconnect to those impressions? So often as we age, this is what life’s relationships are all about. We want to be relevant to ourselves and to others. What was surprisingly interesting, fun, and entertaining about the movie is the message that having a good self-image is a great way to create a first and multiple impressions. Once Mike got his style right, and spoke from his heart, everyone swooned over him. Even his kids, without them knowing he was their father, looked up to him, like he was the BMOC.

The hairstyle, the wardrobe, the poise, and the car – those things are the physical choices made by a person who has it together on the inside and is expressing himself outwardly. The writers portrayed this aspect authentically to the character.

In truth, I wouldn’t want to be 17 again. I’m about to turn 40 in three months and am in the best physical, emotional, and spiritual condition of my whole life. Why turn back from a good thing? But I like the premise of taking stock of your life and finding a way to do something better from this point forward. Your personal image is a gateway to your consciousness where you can live your best life.

What about you? Would you want to turn back the hands of time?

Designing your image is the secret science to your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.

Getting the Company Logo Button Down Shirt Off My Chest – and Yours!

We’ve all seen them – and many of us have had to wear them – at trade shows: the company logoed button down shirt. These ‘every man’ shirts, worn by nearly every man and sadly nearly every woman, too, who has ever worked for a corporation attending a tradeshow. While admittedly a step up from the completely out-of-place trade show Hawaiian shirt, the company logo button down shirt, no doubt, became a secret weapon companies would rely on to manage the image employees project at trade shows. They are typically poorly tailored and hideous, boring, ugly, and waste a lot of resources to make. When I see professional men at trade shows, or on television shows or podcasts who are wearing their company logo button down shirts I just want to hurl. I expect this from a tradesman on a job site, but not from a corporate or sales executive.

When have you seen a company logo button down shirt that you really covet? “Oh, thank you boss. I will treasure this embroidered piece of cloth forever.” Yucko. As soon as a trade show is over, these rags are discarded, left behind in many a hotel room all across America.

In today’s corporate cultural climate, long-term loyalty is not rewarded as it once was. But at trade shows, it’s become, pardon the pun, conventional wisdom, to wear these doggone logoed button downs [and even worse is the short sleeve knit polo], like you are wearing your company loyalty embroidered over your heart. Companies must love corporate-sponsored clothing because it forces employees to conform to a minimal dress standard. This would be especially true of technology companies in Silicon Valley, as they tend not to have even minimal dress codes.

The problem with wearing company logo button down shirts is that the wearer becomes a talking head for the company. There’s no “you” there. What about your personal brand? Shouldn’t someone be connecting with “you”? Forming a relationship with “you”? Coming to rely on “you”? These are the foundations of doing business with someone, and in this context, I strongly believe these company logo button downs are relationship, personal brand, and business barriers.

Instead of providing promotional apparel to employees who need to create more personal, more authentic, more honest connections with customers, corporate management should provide opportunities to help employees learn how to express their own style and reflect the company brand and culture.

It’s not terribly complicated to put together a presentable look – if you know what you’re doing. The answers to some key questions provide enough direction to create successful looks for sales calls, client meetings, trade shows, or media appearances:

What message about yourself do you want to telegraph to your audience? Do you want to appear approachable, businesslike, or distinguished, for example? The goal you select affects the clothes you will wear to help you effectively communicate that message.

Does that message also appropriately represent your company? There are many ways to balance personal style with the corporate culture’s messaging. One idea is to subtly repeat the company’s corporate logo colors in an outfit without wearing any company logo-wear. Know, show, and convey the integrity of your company’s brand promise nonverbally.

Is it the right look for the occasion? You’re always better off dressing up if you’re unclear of the context of your meeting. If you are wearing a jacket and a tie, they can always be removed if they’re simply too much. But the real objective is to get the outfit right from the start by knowing who you’re meeting with, the purpose, and the place of the meeting. You want to show respect and be respected.

As your image consultant, I can help you prepare for your presentations, whether you’re going to trade shows, sales appointments, preparing a look for your headshot photo, or television and video appearances – all without ever wearing one of those dreadful company logo button down shirts.

Designing your image is the secret science to your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.

‘Men-aissance Schmennaissance’ [Redux]

About three years ago I met a newspaper editor and wound up writing a column for his paper, Metro Silicon Valley. Over the weekend, I was flipping through my stories and decided it would be fun to revisit the very first one I ever published. My experiences in working with men and presenting to corporate workgroups since then have influenced and evolved my thinking and I decided to add to the fun by updating the original text. See what you think.

Since the 1950’s men have been redefining their societal and cultural roles, let alone since the beginning of time. Today there continues to be great buzz about men needing to be men. More manly, I guess – whatever that really means! It’s almost as if men were accused of not being men. More than ever there is great diversity amongst men, and the ways men are labeled represent this cultural shift. The labels of corporate worker and father, once popular in the 1950’s don’t even come close to fully defining who men are today, especially in America.

Part of the confusion during this time of cultural redefinition about who men are and how men are supposed to be involves how men are supposed to look. The supposition that it’s manly to “let one’s self go,” or to take less care of himself because he is a man is the ultimate insult to men-kind, in my opinion. The media [I call them the manipulative media] promotes bite-sized, cookie-cutter ideas they think are applicable for all men. But the days and decades when men were all alike are long over, and the era of individuality is well upon us. So, I don’t buy a lot of what I read, watch, and hear in the media as it pertains to how men should be because it has to work for you as an individual. Being a man means making decisions that work for you — and sticking to them — regardless of what fad the marketing world concocts.

Dizzying Grooming Choices – What’s good for you?
Having more choices than ever to help men live the way they want to live is great. For instance, consider how many hundreds of channels can be quickly clicked through with the use of the ‘universal remote control’ before settling on something to watch on TV. Even ESPN has multiple channels to accommodate all of the sporting event options now available. Hey, Did you know gambling is considered a sport? I sure didn’t! If television is of disinterest, the ‘universal remote control’ can lead a couch potato into a cluster of other entertainment options.

It’s easier and cheaper than ever to groom, style, and dress ourselves [well, not if you have expensive taste]. Options never before available to men are here, and even greater choices are constantly developing. Despite the call by some who suggest men not take such good care of themselves, the growth rate of men’s grooming products has superseded the growth of women’s cosmetics in recent years. Walk into any upscale department store or browse through a specialty retailer like Sephora and note the abundance of scents, styling, and shaving stuff for sale. 20-something men are leading the way in this area, influencing their fathers that it’s important, acceptable, and necessary to feel good as well as to look good.

We Live in a “Cougar” World
The idea that men should turn their backs on the smorgasbord of grooming, styling, and clothing choices in favor of being plain and ho-hum is reactionary to how the roles of men and women are shifting. The paradigm of women competing to find a mate has shifted into that being true of men. Today more women are professional, successful, attractive, and independent. The days when women competed to find a mate have also shifted. In decades past, women would complete to look good for a small pool of desirable men. Now, particularly in Silicon Valley where men outnumber women, there is strong evidence of a paradigm shift where women have elevated expectations of men – even of engineers. Women are attracted to a diversity of men, but one thing is for sure: women aren’t going to settle for less than what they want and they want men to be able to take care of themselves. Guys, women don’t want to turn you into their personal pet project.

My Take
As your image consultant, I suggest taking a holistic approach to your appearance. Before changing how you look in order to appear more attractive and to feel more confident, the crucial step is to ensure what changes you make are authentic to you. Don’t opt for a radically different haircut, like your favorite American Idol star, that requires a lot of maintenance and styling until you’ve evaluated whether you can keep up with it, for instance. Don’t try to look too ‘alternative’ just because you were looking for an alternative to the way you were. Seek out options before shifting. One of the ironies I’ve noticed about men’s consumption of grooming and styling products is that many men don’t know what to use so they keep buying more products. Also men notoriously overuse products. There’s too much product in the hair, and too much cologne on the body. Consider working with an expert who will teach you how to put yourself out there so you are always making a good impression.

Designing your image is the secret science to your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.

Treat an Interview Like a Special Occasion

A terrific friend from my teenage years wrote me for some advice. His query was such a good one I thought I’d share it and the answer it provoked:

Any suggestions on how I can avoid the “interview suit” look?

Surely, there are many men who also don’t don a suit on a daily basis and wonder the same as my friend.

It can feel foreign to suit up for an interview. Thankfully, interviewing is not an everyday occurrence, unless you are a perpetual interviewee. Eventually you will be hired and the process will conclude. But until then, the key to interviewing, and dressing successfully for them, is to shift your mindset and treat an interview like a special occasion.

Interviews and special occasions have a lot in common. In both cases you want to put your best foot forward: A freshly steamed or pressed and appropriately fitting suit. Nicely styled hair. A shaved face free of nicks, cuts, and blotches. Clean, trimmed, and buffed fingernails. Shined shoes. While it sounds like preparing for a walk down the aisle, your visual interviewing goal is to give the employer a positive and memorable connection with your visual brand.

Wearing a suit to an interview is the respectable, businesslike thing to do, even if wearing a suit isn’t what you are accustomed to doing. Don’t go crazy trying to get creative or overly self-expressive when dressing for your interviews. If your clothing leaves more of an impression than you do, your clothing will have overcompensated, giving employers pause for the overstatement. You are the star of the show, and the wardrobe plays a supporting role.

Selecting the dress shirt to accompany the suit you wear is worthy of special note. Wearing a white shirt is a safe bet, but be sure to wear the appropriate white for you. Here’s a tip to determine how to do this: look for a white shirt to match the brightness of your teeth. If your white shirt overpowers your smile, the white is too bright. By neutralizing the variance between smile and shirt, you increase the focus on your personal communication center. White shirts can range from bright white to bone to ecru. Choose the one best suited to you. Solid, classic colored shirts will support you during an interview.

The tie you wear is worthy of at least the same attention, if not more. Ties are the single greatest piece of communicative clothing men have to wear. Think of them as your personal visual signature. Ties are crucial to the outfit, even though you’ll spend far more on a suit than on a tie any day. Most onlookers won’t remember details about your suit, but they can recall your tie, especially if it’s a bad one! I recommend not wearing too small a motif, nor too large for that matter. Keep the pattern professional looking; avoid wearing anything hand-painted, no matter your industry or profession. One of my favorite tips is to incorporate your eye color in your tie so it brings the interview’s attention to your communication center and keep the focus on you. Again, let the focus be on you and not so much on your clothing.

As an example if you have brown hair and hazel eyes and decide to wear a charcoal suit, I’d recommend wearing the appropriate white, most likely a bone colored shirt. And the tie I’d look for as your image consultant, either in your closet, or at a decent store within your budget, would incorporate some olive to play off your hazel eyes and some gray to play off the charcoal suit. It could also have some bone in it to play off the bone color shirt. And I’d make sure the pattern is moderately sized and classic, either a stripe or geometric pattern based on your personal style preference. For a very clean and modern approach, the tie could be a woven solid selection.

Prepare for your upcoming interviews like they’re special occasions and you’ll put the focus on your dynamic qualities and abilities.

Just yesterday I was interviewed about how men age 40 and up could improve their look for job interviews. It may be about a month before the article is published. But hopefully this helps those of you, like my good old friend, who needs help today. When the article is published, I’ll post a link to it here. Stay tuned.

Designing your image is the secret science to your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.

My Personal Recession: Achieved

Today’s the day it finally happened. The scale finally delivered the news I’d been working so hard to receive. I had dropped a whole 27 pounds according to doctor’s orders in an effort to combat borderline high cholesterol and to overcome some family health risks. Mission accomplished on all levels. I now officially weigh 130.0.

Nothing could be more important than knowing you’re in good health. Yet making the lifestyle changes that have brought about this amazing physical transformation have brought about other equally thrilling benefits. I’ve advised men for years as an image consultant about the importance of taking care of one’s body, but I finally brought the message home to my own and have newfound insights into just how powerful and important this is for your image.

My tailored clothes [suits, sport coats, dress pants] were just re-tailored to fit my now-fit body. It’s amazing how the same clothes feel on my body now, and how I am more aware of my body in these clothes than before. Some dress pants were so big they needed to be re-cut. This more expensive alteration is far less costly than chucking pricey pants that were in otherwise great shape. A reputable tailor did a knockout job re-cutting them. As if losing the weight wasn’t enough of a reward, putting on the re-tailored clothes makes me feel like a million bucks. Amazing.

Simply achieving a seemingly challenging personal goal is hugely fulfilling. Of course, this is what happens when you turn your attention to your personal image development. Many of my clients experience this when they learn how to develop their visual brand and achieve success with it. But based on my current personal experience, when you add a weight loss goal, achieving it is that much more fulfilling. A sense of personal pride comes with overcoming life’s obstacles and being in control of your own reinvention.

As it turns out, I have lost about 17.2% of my original total body weight. The cholesterol numbers have sharply improved. My waist size is now a 29, which hasn’t been that way since I was a high school senior. And I’m probably now in the best physical, emotional, and spiritual health of my life, just in time to turn 40 in July.

So how did I do it? You just won’t believe me if I wrote it here. So I encourage you to get in touch with me because I’d absolutely love to share with you more about how I did this because it’s entirely achievable if you set some realistic goals.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.