A New Look at First Impressions

Don’t dismiss first impressions.  Right or wrong, they are how we all make snap judgments about each other.

To help you along the sometimes-scary path of making the right impression, I’ve put together a few easy, common sense steps that you may want to follow so that others won’t “snap” you away.

Strategizing your consistent perception is the key to successfully landing a positive impression.  There’s always a point to why your impression matters to you and someone else.  It’s why you want to be seen.  Maybe it’s showing your value at a job interview or sales call.  Or it could be that you’re in a social group and want to convey role within the group.  Perhaps you attend many networking events, where meeting new people is how you develop a network and build your business, and where exhibiting consistency about yourself plays a key role in your success.

You rarely go to one event just one time.  If you get involved with interviewing for a job, you want the follow up interview, or to be hired.  The sales process usually involves multiple interactions.  If you’re a “fixture” on the social scene, you’re always a center of visual attention.  And if you’re a go-getter, you’re seeing people you’ve met before, even as you meet new people at functions around town.  The consistency of your impression will echo through others’ minds as they think about you, as they get to know, like, and trust you.

Your smile is a universally important ingredient in your first impression toolkit.  It shows you’re comfortable and friendly.  Smiling releases chemicals in your brain helping you feel as good as you hope others will see you.  If you’re uptight about your smile and wear white shirts or blouses, one great solution I work on with clients is to wear the white that matches the white of your teeth.  If a bright white shirt makes your teeth look dull, wear a more light absorbent white, like eggshell, cream, or bone, and your smile will reclaim its authentic strength.

Good breath is another important impression maker – or breaker.  Take the time to practice good oral hygiene, brushing and flossing before a social interaction so you can smile without being self-conscious and so others don’t need find an excuse to leave your conversation.  Keep a toothbrush and a small tube of toothpaste in your man-bag or purse so you’re able to refresh yourself no matter where you are.

Another toolkit item is good eye contact.  Resist looking at someone other than the person with whom you are engaged in conversation.  You want to give undivided attention to that person.  The best way to make sure you’re not staring [which is often why people tend to look away from one another] is to find a spot – say near the nose – on the other person’s face, and rest your eyes there so you take in the person’s entire face.  Avoid staring and getting that glazed-over look with this helpful tip, and you’ll have more attentive and better conversations with others in no time.

Make your handshake a good one.  A palm-to-palm meeting of two hands is the successful way to lock hands for a handshake.  One or two firm pumps without squeezing is all it takes to give a good impression.  Avoid infirm, subservient, or strong-arming kinds of handshakes.  A good handshake should convey mutual respect for your meeting partner and a sense of confidence through a handshake of equal strength.

Particularly at networking functions, don’t make a habit of going to them hungry.  It may be compulsory that food be served at these events, but it should not be why you’re attending.  If it is, it’s hard to negotiate a plate of food and a napkin, plus a drink; shaking hands; managing a good smile; and – dare I say – good breath.  A preferred strategy is to grab a snack beforehand and plan to eat after the event.

My final thought is to look interesting but act interested.  Use your clothing style and colors to be attractive so people find you interesting to talk to.  Yet when engaged in conversation, take interest in that person so your first impression will hardly be superficial.  You’ll be appreciated for taking an interest in that person, and for managing your own first rate impression toolbox.

Designing and managing your image is the secret science of your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.

Whose Brand Are You Anyway?

Over the weekend, while quickly perusing my Facebook contacts’ updates, I saw a colleague’s comment, and – WOW – did it set me off!  Paraphrasing, the comment was, “you are the brand others say you are.”  I have fundamental problems with this statement, putting me squarely at odds with this colleague.  Maybe she didn’t even come up with the statement.  Maybe it’s someone else’s statement and she’s merely repeating it, so common in the image and branding fields where, ironically, original thought isn’t as simple as a sound bite.

When it comes to your personal brand, do you represent anyone but yourself?  “You are the brand others say you are.”  Puhleeze.  If having your own personal brand – and being true to yourself and your brand – is enough of a challenge, trying to satisfy the whims of everyone else who is apparently judging you is another matter entirely.  As a consultant, I despise these blanket statements, and it makes no sense when other ‘consultants’ espouse them like the gospel.

How others receive you is, in some way, out of your control.  That’s why this sound bite statement bites the big one with me.  Can you control the actions and thoughts of anyone but yourself?  This is why, when it comes to personal brand and image development, the crucial thing to do is to control what you project so you send the messages you want to communicate about yourself.  Hopefully others will receive your authentic messages so “ you are the brand you say you are.”

As a child, I was teased, even tormented, about my identity and appearance.  Growing up in a Chicago suburb with a strong Jewish community, my physical appearance singled me out as somehow negatively noteworthy for being Jewish.  Blemished skin, a small frame, slight build, and big glasses got me “branded” as being the short, ugly kid who was also last – if ever – to be picked for sports teams.

According to the colleague, I was the brand others said I was.  You know what, she was right – then.  Why?  Though my parents and grandparents gave me only love and support, all that stuck with me was the loud and repeated tormenting of my classmates.  I believed their negative PR about me.  In that sense, I validate the colleague’s Facebook quip.  But it’s exactly why it’s so wrong.  Why would anyone want to accept the path of everyone else’s perception when the only one that matters is your very own?

I share this very personal past experience because so much has evolved since then.  I found the secret to creating your personal brand and image starts by taking control and looking within.  It’s not that the opinions of others don’t matter.  But if people aren’t seeing you as you could be – as you should be – they’re certainly going to misunderstand your message, and what a shame that would be for them to not know how wonderful you really are.

Nothing is more important in creating a personal brand and image than to tell and show others who you are and what you stand for.  If you don’t do it, others will do it for you.  Do you want others speaking for you, or do you want to speak for yourself?

Designing and managing your image is the secret science of your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.

How Many Image Tips Do You Need?

Does that question perplex you or make you laugh as much as it makes me laugh?  Well, maybe you don’t know just how much that does make me laugh.  And I have to tell you that sometimes it just makes me howl with laughter.  Not because some people need so much help that they may be beyond help.  That’s just catty.  I’m not beyond being catty, by the way.  It’s just that as a keen observer of people, it’s more in my giving nature to want to help.

Read more >>

Is Shopping Your Closet Right For You?

One idea that has popped up this year is to shop your own closet – instead of a store – with your favorite image consultant.

I think shopping your closet is a fantastic way to reinvent the wardrobe, but there is a huge caveat to this concept.  You’ve got to have a fairly extensive wardrobe in order to make shopping your closet a sensible pursuit.  Based on the way my clients have been shopping with me lately, I don’t think everyone is capable of shopping their closets to reinvent their existing wardrobes.

To be plainly honest, many of my clients are taking this time to develop their wardrobes by focusing on a particular need.  While some are building an appropriate work wardrobe, others are realizing a need to develop a personal style for socializing, dating, and for traveling.  If an aspect of your wardrobe, either professional or personal, is underdeveloped, the idea of shopping your closet may be just as much as a fantasy as the season’s trendy fall fashions.

So how and when can shopping your closet benefit you?  If you are fortunate to have a closet full of clothes but are in the unfortunate position of thinking you have nothing to wear, that’s a prime sign it’s time to shop your closet.  You might have underutilized gems lurking around that could become new stars.  Combing through your wardrobe to eliminate pieces that drain it of your energy is very helpful.  Sometimes all you can see are those items you never want to wear.  Yet there they are, staring right back at you like a bad dream.

Psychologically, ridding your closet of unnecessary items can be challenging.  Can you afford to let go of things you paid money for?  I tend to wonder more deeply whether you can afford to feel drained by a wardrobe that isn’t doing its job for you.  So I honor the challenges you might face by this challenge, but I also see and would want to honor the opportunity that this process poses.

When you look at your wardrobe with fresh, new eyes the greatest benefit you can expect is freedom.  There’s freedom from limiting items that don’t support your body, messages, and goals.  And there’s freedom from doing the same ole, same ole.  Try something new with something old, and experience something fresh.  Treat yourself to and mix in a few new key items, and more than the wardrobe is transformed – you are offered some sense of renewal.

It’s an exciting time to be taking stock of your wardrobe as it pertains to your image.  It always feels wonderful being complimented about how good you’re looking. These days we can all use a pick-me-up.  But it’s better still when you open that closet, knowing it’s filled like your own customized boutique, and you see yourself looking back at you, seeing only good choices to wear.

Designing and managing your image is the secret science of your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.

Revving Up Your Image In a Mixed Economy

Every single day, there are so many bite-sized TV segments dedicated to this very topic.  I watch NBC’s “Today” daily, and without fail, the program producers are prone to throw its female demographic a shopping party at every turn.  This frustrates me on two fronts.  First, when focusing on “economy shopping,” the outfits shown are so trendy-oh-so.  I’d hesitate to suggest the average female shopper rev up her professional image by spending money on anything other than updated wardrobe essentials.  Second, what about men?!  They’re part of the workforce, too.

So I was excited and flattered when Nina Price, The Professional Competitiveness Coach, asked me to be a part of her upcoming teleseminar series.  It’s happening the week of September 14.  Each day at 9:00am Pacific, Nina will interview one of 5 experts [including me] about a strategy topic that is part of her upcoming book, “5 Strategies for Staying Employed in Today’s Economy.”  Naturally, I’ll be talking with Nina about how people – maybe even you – can successfully rev up their image.

Job interviews today are a real test of wills.  But the credentials on the resume tell only part of the story.  Knowing how to show up for an interview is very important because it shows the right attention to detail was paid.  What’s the proper balance?  The industry you work for has some norms, a sub-culture you want to respect while making your best case.  Show up over dressed, and you’ll look as if you’re covering up for some shortcoming elsewhere.  Under dress and you run the risk of being the less attractive of two candidates.

Even with all these considerations to take into account, a job candidate should show up to an interview with a good smile, a flattering hairstyle, clean and pressed clothes, shined shoes, and manicured hands.  Your smile is your passport to a less stressful interview because when you smile you can show some easy confidence.  A flattering hairstyle is crucial because it frames the face, which helps to put that smile on center stage.  Clean and pressed clothes, no matter how informal, show self-respect, respect for the interviewer, and for the occasion.  Shined shoes today don’t necessarily call for a spit shine.  A matte shine can be totally appropriate in many industries, like high tech.  But scuffmarks should be buffed out.  Speaking of buffing, manicured hands don’t have to be done by a manicurist if you’re on a zero budget.  But nails should be clean and trimmed; and hands should look and feel like they belong to a professional.

It’s a smart idea to practice eye contact along with the handshake, and to videotape yourself while doing a mock interview.  Presentation skills like these are so valuable because when you’ve practiced and studied your mannerisms, you know what to do with your eyes, hands, body, and voice.  You want to be sure not to stare or avoid looking at the interviewer.  A firm handshake with just a pump or two is appropriate, but you want to avoid giving a clamping handshake or the limp and lifeless handshake {I personally despise this].  Your posture should be upright but not uptight, and your body language should be comfortable, but arms should not be flailing about as if you are trying to balance yourself while walking a tightrope.  Vocal tone and tempo are also important.  The tone should be moderate and you want to avoid speaking too slow resembling a robot or speaking too quickly like the tape is on fast-forward.

There’s so much to cover in just one hour.  This is just a taste of what’s to come when Nina Price interviews me on Wednesday, September 16 at 9:00 a.m. Pacific.  Join us, won’t you?

Designing and managing your image is the secret science of your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.