A farce is a ridiculous situation in which everything goes wrong or becomes a sham. A look back at the fashions and, dare I say – costumes, worn by many of the celebrities attending and performing at the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards, a fashion farce is a perfect way to describe the feast for the sore eyes that they prepared for us.
While a bit of armchair criticism of the stars may be pithy and fun to do, it’s a more positive experience to see why someone’s look was a bomb instead of looking like “The Bomb.”
Cee Lo Green took the stage looking like a cocky plumed rooster with an armor piece that made you long for the look of Grace Jones’ washboard abs courtesy of Yohji Yamamoto, circa 1980’s. The polite title of his song, if you don’t know it is “Forget You,” and let me say that I’d really like to!
Ciara attempted this sort of Wonder Woman glamazon look, replete with working woman heels. The problem is that she’s unmercifully uncovered on top, and that although her skirt flows with fabric, it too leaves her very exposed down below. Ultimately, there’s not much left to leave you wondering about this woman.
Watching American Idol, it never occurred to me that Crystal Bowersox would become a glamazon styled star. This image of her proves that, so far, she has not. Some people would say they’d love to see her do something better with her hair. Not that I’d argue, but let’s say that’s her visual signature. Then if that’s the case, the gown really needs to honor that spirit. If the spirit is “hot green mess” then she succeeded. But she could have done so much better.
Esperanza Spalding, known as the jazz singer who got the Grammy instead of Justin Bieber, made out pretty well for herself on the awards side of the equation, but not so well on the fashion side. This frilly frock would have been so much better if its color didn’t make her look like she’s a liver transplant candidate.
This is Gram’ma Funk, and if you don’t know anything about her, at least you can learn from this look that you don’t want to look like this. Still, some contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race will be inspired to try this, but will then be told to “Sashay Away,” by the all time top Drag Queen herself. Just awful.
Here’s Hayley Williams in an outfit reportedly made just for her. Aren’t you glad to know this was not mass-produced? The hideous combination and very bad hairpiece, makes this a walking advertisement for what not to wear – ever.
Katy Perry’s ensemble goes to show that just because a top designer made it, doesn’t mean that it’s a winner. The wings on the back, the long train, and most of all, the bejeweled bralette, left me thinking that she was the new Fairy Milk Angel model. Katy’s very pretty, but this get-up was too high and flighty.
Kelly Osbourne has had an amazing transformation, but this Tadashi Shoji number is not doing anything to show off that Kelly sees herself as number one. In fact, the dress is more noticeable than her. The color is very pretty, but the fabric, texturing, and hemline add visual bulk to her physical appearance. With longer and straightened hair this dress doesn’t equate with her evolved physicality.
Lea Michele is such a gorgeous young woman with a terrific voice. Yet she’s wearing this black Oscar de la Renta gown that depletes her of her own vitality. That long open slit up the side totally bothers me, and the stacked platform shoes she’s wearing are also inconsistent with the look. She should’ve worn a more dramatic gown with a big color to go with her big voice. This young widow’s dress should be blacklisted!
Nicki Minaj is showing her creative spirit, but it looks like her brain left a skid mark on her hair while she over-thought this ensemble. She’d make animals run in all directions if they caught a glimpse of her in this blessed mess.
Rhianna has been getting a lot of criticism for this Gautier gown, and I have to concur. Some have likened it to a toilet bowl brush. That works. I originally compared it to a sponge used to clean out long narrow glasses. Either way, Rhainna needs to clean up her act by wearing sheer undergarments so she keeps her lady parts to herself.
Which star’s look did you like the least?
Joseph Rosenfeld helps high-profile individuals revitalize, manage, and be secure in their personal visual brand. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.