The men and women who hire me as their image consultant want to create lasting and authentic changes in their appearance. For any number of reasons, they are ready to see an updated reflection looking back in the mirror and want others to see them in this way, too. Physically evolving how one looks is a natural part of life’s journey. But could it all be taken too far?
In the three weeks since Michael Jackson’s sudden death, I’ve been thinking about all th
e physical changes he had undergone that hastened intense public scrutiny. I’m not sure anyone else has endured so much of the public’s scrutiny just because of the changes to his physical appearance.
Jackson will long be known as one of pop culture’s most enigmatic figures. He grew up as a public figure, and tried to find, define, and redefine himself all in the glare of the public eye. Did it really matter how many cosmetic procedures the “King of Pop” had? Should he have revealed every cosmetic procedure? Did we need to know just how badly burned and scarred he was on the set of the 1984 Pepsi commercial? The less the public knew, the more it seemingly needed to know.
So much about his senseless death is yet to be determined, but there is so much we can learn about how to be genuinely sensitive toward others who don’t fit into an average package. Michael Jackson had extraordinary talents and was extraordinarily tormented; and both sets of traits were manifested through his image.
If you’ve ever been told by one of your parents that you’re ugly, then you can relate to the pain that Michael Jackson felt from his father. That kind of pain could hurt worse than being beaten by a belt strap. If you’ve ever had to deal with severe acne, then you know how sensitive Michael Jackson was to being in public with the emotional and physical scars of severe acne, despite being a huge superstar. Later in his life, Jackson developed lupus, an autoimmune disease likely brought on as a result of childhood abuse. Lupus is said to have caused his skin discoloration, known as vitiligo. Now in the shock of sudden death, many who cast him aside as too bizarre are trying to make sense of the senseless.
Creating change in one’s appearance should be more fun and be devoid of the torment even huge pop stars face. I’d be the first to suggest therapy for any client who revealed unresolved past issues. Even in good circumstances there are still old habits to let go of in order to grow. A significant facet about image consulting is that it’s totally holistic – working from the inside out. It’s not that cosmetic surgical procedures are out of the question. It’s just that there are many other options to consider and to experience a total transformation.
In all of Michael Jackson’s despair, no matter how much he tried to change the surface of his body – and no matter how much more other conditions affected his appearance – this man did not have a good feeling about himself. His need to keep reconstructing himself points to an obsession rooted in a deep, lifelong pain.
If there is a lesson to be learned from all of this, it is to be more sensitive to someone in your family, and at your office. Be more supportive. Don’t stare oddly at someone walking down the street. Be more accepting. Be more willing to help someone be successful. Boost a friend’s confidence. Pay a compliment. Receive someone’s compliment. Soak it up. Accept who and what you see when you look in the mirror. And if you need a partner to help you make a lasting change, I’ll be there for you.
Designing and managing your image is the secret science of your success.
Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.
Being deeply effected by Michael's death myself, I was very pleased and emotionally touched by The Man in the Mirror blog. Thank you Joseph Rosenfeld! I am so happy that I was able to truely experience his impact on our world while he was alive and that there are still those out there who appreciated it as well…JT
It is such a sad, sad time for pop culture. I've cried many tears this past couple weeks. Michael was way too young to die. Joseph, thank you for reminding us all to be kinder to each other. So many of us have had to overcome self confidence issues. It's too bad that it takes us until we're in our 40's and 50's (and in some cases, even later) to realize that we are who we are and what other people think about us should not matter so much. We need to be more accepting of ourselves and each other. We are all beautful in one way or another.