When sharing with clients, friends, or family about how my success got to where it is today, I have to go back to nearly the beginning of it all.  Since I am a storyteller, and a personal transformation expert, I love to share the transformational story that brought me to this very day.  It’s such an important story of my professional and personal journey that the story plays in the background of my mind like a favorite song’s catchy chorus.  This is a little story about an interaction between my second retail department manager and me, and about how she led me to success.

I was hired as a sales associate by Neiman Marcus and started working for the company at its Chicago store, located on the “Magnificent Mile,” shy of my 20th birthday.  The very first customer I waited on became a client of mine for many years.  I didn’t think that I had the “golden touch” or anything like that. I just thought that I loved fashion and cared about my customers.  If only developing relationships and loyalty were as easy and as simple as the first person I ever worked with.

During the first six months of working for the company, my co-workers, all of whom were far more experienced and older, hazed me like a college ritual gone wrong.  I did know that, somehow, all of the harsh treatment reflected their fear that I was taking away from what they thought they were entitled to.  This isn’t anything so unusual in a highly competitive sales environment.  But, I always tried to “stay in my lane” and do the best work I could, whether it was merchandising the department or helping customers.

I wrote nearly every customer thank you notes, to extend appreciation for allowing me the opportunity to serve them.  I also wanted to foster relationships that would turn customers into clients.  Very little success came my way at first, and I was struggling to sell enough to satisfy the goals that were set for me by management.  I also had very little guidance from the hiring department manager.  Then, right upon the end of my sixth month there, she left quickly.

The new manager, Betsy, was hardly Lori’s replacement.  Betsy was this petite and perky force of nature.  She led me to success.

But, in order to get me to success, I had to have a rock bottom moment.  On Betsy’s second day on the job, her first responsibility with me was to put me on 90-day probation.  If I didn’t bring up my sales during this period of time, I’d lose my job there.  That she was required to carry out this responsibility, as her first dealing with me, was unthinkable.  It didn’t sit right with her.

Betsy began a very healthy dialogue with me, then a “green,” underdeveloped and aspiring sales associate.  I distinctly recall her telling me how she wanted to help me turn this situation around and help me to become successful.  She asked me what I thought I needed.  I just as distinctively recall saying to her, “Betsy, I’m kind of high maintenance…” Those words still make me laugh.  Continuing, “I have basically only received criticism without any suggestions about how I might improve.  So, if you give me a criticism, that’s fine.  But, I need you to suggest how to do better.  And, when you notice that I’ve done something really great in your mind, I really need the positive reinforcement.”

Betsy turned out to be the finest manager I ever had because she delivered exactly what I needed in order to turn the situation around.  She led me to success, but not just the success I went on to enjoy in the world of high-end retail.  She led me to the success I enjoy now.

On Betsy’s shoulders, I still use today the same common sense approach that she took with me.

She focused on my strengths.  She honored my natural abilities and showed me how to maximize my talents and gifts.  When a weakness got in the way of my talents and gifts, she helped me to see it was happening and offered good advice about how to change course.

She treated me with great respect.  She may have been my manager.  But, she knew that she would get more out of me if she treated me as a peer who was part of her team.  Together, we shared a common vision for my success and for her success.

She made it more fun to be at work.  I realize that “fun” is not always part of the act of working.  But, Betsy instilled in me the importance of having fun.  Today, I tell everyone that I’m having so much fun that it hardly feels like work – not that I don’t put my heart, soul, and intellect to work 100%.

She and I shared a vision of what success would look like for me.  She was less focused on herself, because if my abilities were strengthened, my success would be her mutual success.

These are the most significant outcomes to come from Betsy.  I’d lost touch with Betsy years ago.  But, I just found her on Facebook today, after a pretty exhaustive search.  I sent her a Facebook friend request, and I hope that she remembers me and accepts it.

Payback is not always a bitch, as the saying goes.  I’d so much love Betsy to know what an incredible and positive influence her perky personality, mad humor, and joie de vivre gave me when I needed it most.  Oh, and her obsessive love of Robert Clergerie shoes.  It has sustained me all of these years.  And, I hope to have that kind of impact on my clients as a way of perpetually thanking the Universe for my time with Betsy.  After all, she led me to success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps successful Silicon Valley technology entrepreneurs and executives discover their personal brands and design their personal styles.  Get Joseph’s free report that helps you know “6 Secrets to Success in Silicon Valley”.