Tag Archives: men’s cultural shifts

A New Uniform Style For Men

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Coiffed, yet rugged, the new uniform style for men seems to have taken hold in cities like New York and San Francisco. But is it a look for all men?

Coiffed, yet rugged, the new uniform style for men seems to have taken hold in cities like New York and San Francisco. But is it a look for all men?

If you believe everything you read about men’s fashion, you might have been falsely led to believe that there is a new uniform style for men.  You can spot this trend on a guy with a coiffed hairstyle, juxtaposed by scruffy facial hair, and granddad styled clothes made to look youthful, outdoorsy, and deep in thought.

As you might expect, I do a lot of reading about men’s style.  As well, I do a lot of observing and evaluating people on the street, in stores, and at events.  Some would also argue that I am instrumental in helping to create a cultural shift in how men conceive of their style in Silicon Valley.  And because I’m an independent thinker, I’m skeptical about this new ‘uniform style’ for men.

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How to Wear a Mens Suit in Silicon Valley

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This post, about how to wear a men’s suit in Silicon Valley, ties in to the last post about how to buy a men’s suit in Silicon Valley.  Once you’ve bought the appropriate suit or suits for business and social occasions, it’s time to put one on and wear it. But there are some cultural rules about how to wear a mens suit in Silicon Valley.

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How to Buy a Men’s Suit in Silicon Valley

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The question about how to buy a men’s suit in Silicon Valley always comes up with my male clients.  Admittedly, not every man in Silicon Valley even thinks he should own a suit.  I’m not trying to encourage people who live a more laid back work and lifestyle to change how they work and live.  But one thing is for sure.  Every man should invest in at least one good suit.  The more often a man has the need for a suit, the more of them he should own.

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Silicon Valley Style Gets Silly

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Someone thinks this sort of look, along with a dark jacket when necessary, is the look of “Valley Formal.” I say the whole concept is bull crap!

Silicon Valley sure is the target of some interesting bull crap, even in my realm of style!

Though I have basically given up on posting comments to information sharing websites like Quora, I’ll occasionally drop by to see what topics people are asking about, and how people are answering those questions.

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My Plea For Pleated Pants

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A life coach, whose practice specializes in helping get people employed, wrote me a note recently.  It caught my attention to the point that if I had to write him back a free answer, I was going to post it to my blog for everyone’s benefit.

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Men Dropping Trou: Lessons from the Superbowl ads

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The advertising companies hired by Careerbuilder and Docker’s are supposed to create messages to build the brands of their clients. But what they did in the process is create a profile about the average American man. Their picture isn’t too pretty.

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Wardrobe Games

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An acquaintance in Ithaca, New York alerted me to a Wall Street Journal blog post written by a Silicon Valley-based thirtysomething man entitled, “The Perils of Interview Attire.”  Writing about one of my favorite topics – how Silicon Valley engineers are known to have a style all their own – Jon Gray tells of his perilous job interviewing wardrobe experiences.  In Gray’s situations, intentionally wearing an item – or not – moves beyond the physical.  It’s a head-trip.

Among three of Gray’s buddies who have interviewed at startup companies, none have worn ties to job interviews in years, he says.  Welcome to Silicon Valley, home of the dress for success counterculture, where success is measured not by the noose around your neck but based on other factors.  Now you might be thinking with this comment that I’ve gone soft and that the Silicon Valley is an altruistic place where qualifications, merit, degrees, and diplomas are all that count.  Cough. Cough.  Image still matters heavily, but it matters in a different way than in other parts of the country.

In Gray’s post he explained how he went to an interview wearing a suit with no tie, and unbuttoned his dress shirt at the collar.  The company vice president gave him a sartorial thumb’s down, even though the recruiter’s feedback was flying high.  He promised to dress more appropriately for additional interviews.  When he went back to meet with the president and the CEO, he wore a suit, tie, and even shined his shoes for the occasion.  When the CEO showed Gray out of the building he told him to “never wear a tie to an interview at a startup!”

There are all sorts of issues with this story.  One is that he took advice from two sets of colleagues but didn’t get more insight.  A second issue is that he didn’t know more about the startup company’s culture.  A third issue is that after meeting with the company vice president he should have had some ideas of how to dress for subsequent interviews based on how the vice president was dressed and based on the vice president’s feedback about the way he showed up for the interview.  A fourth issue is that the recruiter should have provided better information to Mr. Gray about the way he should dress for subsequent interviews.

Jon Gray got caught in a wardrobe game played by many men in the Silicon Valley counterculture.  How does a guy be an individual and still fit in to the culture of the Valley, and the technology sector culture?

The simple answer is the complex answer:  Guys like Jon Gray have to know themselves and have to know the company they are [going to be] employed by.

As I said in my comment response to Gray’s blog post, “A self-assured man dresses for the purpose of achieving his goals, and goal number one is being able to look at yourself in the mirror knowing you represented yourself properly.”  This answers the part of knowing yourself.  “The idea of dressing appropriately for an occasion means balancing your own needs and goals with the expectations of your audience.”  Without losing your sense of self, you need to know your audience.  “If you don’t know your audience’s expectations, you need to inquire.”  This means, do your due diligence and research a company even if it means parking your car in the lot and watching the comings and goings of the people.

Jon and others might wish for the good old days of rules – as we knew them to be.  In fact, there are ‘rules’ of dress that apply to Jon’s situation but they aren’t the classic rules found in dog-eared copies of published books.  These rules are experiential and are ever-changing.  It only makes sense this is happening here in Silicon Valley, a place where game playing is an art form.

Designing and managing your image is the secret science of your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.

Looks and Talent Matter: Lessons of American Idol

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The recent American Idol competition seemed to have boiled down to the age old dilemma of looks versus talent, a subject that captivates me as an image consultant and one that should concern all of us as we strive to succeed in the world.

The New York Times ran a recent article about the contest between the final two contestants. The author compared the affable southern young man, Kris Allen, to Pat Boone, while drawing upon similarities of southern Californian glam rocker Adam Lambert to Elvis. What comparisons! Would America have been capable of voting for Elvis in a 1950s-era American Idol? We know Elvis changed the culture and the sound of music; so his popularity and prominence makes him a true and everlasting American idol. In one sense America voted for Elvis with their wallets. But would America have boldly dialed in for him?

People tend to align themselves [or vote for] those who are more like them. To say nothing of their talents, Kris resembles more people than Adam.

A recent article in Scientific American even chronicles how the physical appearance of political candidates influences our choices in leaders. Sure, we want to idealize their political views and qualifications. But according to a study conducted by a pair of Swiss psychologists, children as young as five years of age were able to accurately predict the outcome of French parliamentary elections merely based on the candidates’ facial appearances.

This information has strong implications for each of us. It is unlikely we’ll surgically alter our facial appearances just to be deemed more competent for a job interview, appear more favorable with clients to sell more, or even to win the favor of a love interest. At least I hope not! Let’s remain authentic to ourselves and not turn into a populace of zombie clones lacking independence!

But as you continue to hone your professional and personal talents and crafts, you also do need to tend to the way you look. As superficial as it seems, people are heavily influenced by the visual image you project. There is a time and place to look competent, and a time and a place to appear attractive. Competence and attractiveness are not mutually exclusive traits, for instance.

So take a lesson from Adam Lambert, who – many did feel – had the more talented voice. No doubt he made his mark on American Idol. In the world of celebrity making, his star has risen because of the huge platform of that TV show. But for the average hard-working guy without such a springboard, it’s best to manage your talent and your image to make sure you get the one vote you really need to secure that job, or that raise, or that client, or that sale.

Designing and managing your image is the secret science to your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.

‘Men-aissance Schmennaissance’ [Redux]

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About three years ago I met a newspaper editor and wound up writing a column for his paper, Metro Silicon Valley. Over the weekend, I was flipping through my stories and decided it would be fun to revisit the very first one I ever published. My experiences in working with men and presenting to corporate workgroups since then have influenced and evolved my thinking and I decided to add to the fun by updating the original text. See what you think.

Since the 1950’s men have been redefining their societal and cultural roles, let alone since the beginning of time. Today there continues to be great buzz about men needing to be men. More manly, I guess – whatever that really means! It’s almost as if men were accused of not being men. More than ever there is great diversity amongst men, and the ways men are labeled represent this cultural shift. The labels of corporate worker and father, once popular in the 1950’s don’t even come close to fully defining who men are today, especially in America.

Part of the confusion during this time of cultural redefinition about who men are and how men are supposed to be involves how men are supposed to look. The supposition that it’s manly to “let one’s self go,” or to take less care of himself because he is a man is the ultimate insult to men-kind, in my opinion. The media [I call them the manipulative media] promotes bite-sized, cookie-cutter ideas they think are applicable for all men. But the days and decades when men were all alike are long over, and the era of individuality is well upon us. So, I don’t buy a lot of what I read, watch, and hear in the media as it pertains to how men should be because it has to work for you as an individual. Being a man means making decisions that work for you — and sticking to them — regardless of what fad the marketing world concocts.

Dizzying Grooming Choices – What’s good for you?
Having more choices than ever to help men live the way they want to live is great. For instance, consider how many hundreds of channels can be quickly clicked through with the use of the ‘universal remote control’ before settling on something to watch on TV. Even ESPN has multiple channels to accommodate all of the sporting event options now available. Hey, Did you know gambling is considered a sport? I sure didn’t! If television is of disinterest, the ‘universal remote control’ can lead a couch potato into a cluster of other entertainment options.

It’s easier and cheaper than ever to groom, style, and dress ourselves [well, not if you have expensive taste]. Options never before available to men are here, and even greater choices are constantly developing. Despite the call by some who suggest men not take such good care of themselves, the growth rate of men’s grooming products has superseded the growth of women’s cosmetics in recent years. Walk into any upscale department store or browse through a specialty retailer like Sephora and note the abundance of scents, styling, and shaving stuff for sale. 20-something men are leading the way in this area, influencing their fathers that it’s important, acceptable, and necessary to feel good as well as to look good.

We Live in a “Cougar” World
The idea that men should turn their backs on the smorgasbord of grooming, styling, and clothing choices in favor of being plain and ho-hum is reactionary to how the roles of men and women are shifting. The paradigm of women competing to find a mate has shifted into that being true of men. Today more women are professional, successful, attractive, and independent. The days when women competed to find a mate have also shifted. In decades past, women would complete to look good for a small pool of desirable men. Now, particularly in Silicon Valley where men outnumber women, there is strong evidence of a paradigm shift where women have elevated expectations of men – even of engineers. Women are attracted to a diversity of men, but one thing is for sure: women aren’t going to settle for less than what they want and they want men to be able to take care of themselves. Guys, women don’t want to turn you into their personal pet project.

My Take
As your image consultant, I suggest taking a holistic approach to your appearance. Before changing how you look in order to appear more attractive and to feel more confident, the crucial step is to ensure what changes you make are authentic to you. Don’t opt for a radically different haircut, like your favorite American Idol star, that requires a lot of maintenance and styling until you’ve evaluated whether you can keep up with it, for instance. Don’t try to look too ‘alternative’ just because you were looking for an alternative to the way you were. Seek out options before shifting. One of the ironies I’ve noticed about men’s consumption of grooming and styling products is that many men don’t know what to use so they keep buying more products. Also men notoriously overuse products. There’s too much product in the hair, and too much cologne on the body. Consider working with an expert who will teach you how to put yourself out there so you are always making a good impression.

Designing your image is the secret science to your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.