Over the weekend, while quickly perusing my Facebook contacts’ updates, I saw a colleague’s comment, and – WOW – did it set me off!  Paraphrasing, the comment was, “you are the brand others say you are.”  I have fundamental problems with this statement, putting me squarely at odds with this colleague.  Maybe she didn’t even come up with the statement.  Maybe it’s someone else’s statement and she’s merely repeating it, so common in the image and branding fields where, ironically, original thought isn’t as simple as a sound bite.

When it comes to your personal brand, do you represent anyone but yourself?  “You are the brand others say you are.”  Puhleeze.  If having your own personal brand – and being true to yourself and your brand – is enough of a challenge, trying to satisfy the whims of everyone else who is apparently judging you is another matter entirely.  As a consultant, I despise these blanket statements, and it makes no sense when other ‘consultants’ espouse them like the gospel.

How others receive you is, in some way, out of your control.  That’s why this sound bite statement bites the big one with me.  Can you control the actions and thoughts of anyone but yourself?  This is why, when it comes to personal brand and image development, the crucial thing to do is to control what you project so you send the messages you want to communicate about yourself.  Hopefully others will receive your authentic messages so “ you are the brand you say you are.”

As a child, I was teased, even tormented, about my identity and appearance.  Growing up in a Chicago suburb with a strong Jewish community, my physical appearance singled me out as somehow negatively noteworthy for being Jewish.  Blemished skin, a small frame, slight build, and big glasses got me “branded” as being the short, ugly kid who was also last – if ever – to be picked for sports teams.

According to the colleague, I was the brand others said I was.  You know what, she was right – then.  Why?  Though my parents and grandparents gave me only love and support, all that stuck with me was the loud and repeated tormenting of my classmates.  I believed their negative PR about me.  In that sense, I validate the colleague’s Facebook quip.  But it’s exactly why it’s so wrong.  Why would anyone want to accept the path of everyone else’s perception when the only one that matters is your very own?

I share this very personal past experience because so much has evolved since then.  I found the secret to creating your personal brand and image starts by taking control and looking within.  It’s not that the opinions of others don’t matter.  But if people aren’t seeing you as you could be – as you should be – they’re certainly going to misunderstand your message, and what a shame that would be for them to not know how wonderful you really are.

Nothing is more important in creating a personal brand and image than to tell and show others who you are and what you stand for.  If you don’t do it, others will do it for you.  Do you want others speaking for you, or do you want to speak for yourself?

Designing and managing your image is the secret science of your success.

Joseph Rosenfeld helps professional men and corporate workgroups create effective visual brands. Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for details.