Virtually no one sees you as you do because no one knows what’s going on inside of you but you. This statement might seem like a riddle, a trick, or even a manipulation of ideas. In one sentence I talk about seeing you, and in the same sentence, also mention what’s going on inside. So, here we have two parts. The first of which is seeing you, which portends a visual connection. And the what’s going inside part actually is about connecting with your spirit energy.

When you see your reflection in a mirror, virtually no one sees you as you do, because only you can know what you see. You, and you alone, make an instantaneous connection between what’s going on inside of you and what you look like.

I hope you’re still with me! This is the hardest self-image concept to understand.

As you see yourself, you do so through your own filtering process. Only you know the pathology of your past, how it impacts who you are, and who you want to be. Not only that, but the way you deal with, or avoid, the pathology of your past impacts your self-image. When you get clear and honest about what’s going on inside of you, you see the outcome in your self-image. Likewise, on the flip side, if you have not yet confronted current or past issues, it impacts and limits your self-image. So, this is why virtually no one sees you as you do.

Self-image is the reflection you see in the mirror. It’s not the clothes, or the shape of your body, or what your hair looks like in the moment. Although these mirror moments are visceral and fleeting, their effects are ongoing and constant. Just because you look away from the mirror doesn’t mean that inner self-reflection stops. This activity goes on in the subconscious mind, constantly.

So, when others see you, are they really seeing the real you, the whole you, the authentic you? What do you transparently offer up about yourself, and what about you do you choose to hide? If your outward appearance represents a physical manifestation of what’s going on inside of you, do others see your image accurately? Can you now begin to understand why virtually no one sees you as you do?

By the way, I’ve been there. Oh, and I’m still there. I know the opportunities and the challenges.

For example, as a boy attending school, there were some years when fellow students would torment me. Daily, and often hourly, the same band of cruel kids would tell me how ugly I was. It took me decades to unwind the pathology of that part of my past. I took steps over many years to reclaim my identity, self-image, and dignity. Today, I look in the mirror and see a happy and healthy self; a healed self. I feel free to express exactly who I am to the extent of my healing. I feel it in my spirit. It also shows in my self-image, both my internal mirror of self-reflection and in the actual physical mirror reflection.

By contrast, I know that sometimes I still have a way of hiding. And it has nothing to do with having introverted traits. This challenge is very deep and goes back to something I must have faced soon after birth and continues today. I don’t want to burden others. The consequence of not wanting to burden others impacts how I communicate with words and actions.

Dressing is one of those actions. Sometimes, I conclude that I should mute my energy by dressing so as to not bother anyone. For real! This is not about offending anyone; that goes against my personal style because that’s not who I am as a person. I simply don’t want to call attention to myself, at times. It may not make any sense because looking bold and fashionable seemingly has nothing to do with burdening others. Still, a deep connection exists. What I learned very early in life is that, to avoid burdening others, the solution is silence. Quiet. Keep my thoughts to myself, and hold it in.  Withhold.

The result of keeping quiet and withholding is, from time to time, a quiet looking Joseph. At times, I want to express exuberance or my fiery “don’t F with me” side. If you know me, you know that I really am that way deep inside. I catch myself [in my hidden inner mirror] reflecting on how I must stop thinking that I will burden anyone. As I work on this, I actually unburden myself! And I feel freer as a result.

My struggles to overcome the pathology of my past and lingering issues make me an especially empathic personal style strategist. My lifelong path towards healing also results in my having a special intuition about the human psyche. You see, I don’t really think I’m so special. Meaning, if I could have these challenges, I am darned certain that many others also struggle with their self-image. Still, I would rather not attempt to coach through clairvoyance. And this is why I developed a personal styling strategy to help those willing to go deep overcome their pathology of the past.

This strategy does not intend to do deep work to explore and resolve the past. That’s for a trained psychologist, which I make no claim whatsoever to be. However, helping you to see what’s going on inside of you allows us to share a consistent vision of who you are. Moreover, this provides you a golden opportunity to get unstuck, move forward, and use your outward appearance to communicate truthfully.

That hidden inner mirror – we all have one. Even you. When you first accept what you see in that mirror reflection, then virtually anyone can see you as you do. I would love the opportunity to help eliminate the possibility that virtually no one sees you as you do. You have too much to offer to the world to keep it all to yourself.